Příspěvky od počátku až do poledne 18. ledna 2003
20. Re: Jooo Amerika.... 18. 01. 2003 - 12:57
vladyk: No mě by se moc nelíbilo kdyby mě někdo vykradl dům, snědl si psí granule il 8 dní v mé garái a pak by za to jetě dostal zaplaceno.
Zná tu pohádku o těch medvídcích.....
......"kdo pak to spal v mé postýlce" :-)))) něco podobnýho
19. Re: Jooo Amerika.... 17. 01. 2003 - 22:16
alpinus: to není blbost - to je prostě ivotní styl dovedenej k dokonalosti :-))))Rubas nema kapsy...
18. Re: Jooo Amerika.... 17. 01. 2003 - 15:53
Tappaja:"vozy je za jízdy nutno řídit" to sem nevěděl....
Jo ty Američani. tohle snad ani není k smíchu, ta lidská( U.S.) blbost.
17. Re: Jooo Amerika.... 17. 01. 2003 - 08:57
Tappaja: Ty kráááávo no to je drsný...16. Jooo Amerika.... 17. 01. 2003 - 07:15
Musel jsem to sem dat, posledni odstavec je i k veci... :o) STELLA AWARDS ocenění, pojmenovaná k poctě Stelly Liebeckové, mezinárodně proslulé stařeny, kterou za potřísnění horkou kávou u McDonalda porota v Albuquerque odměnila velkou kupou peněz. Sedm ocenění z poslední doby:1.V Austinu, hlavním městě Texasu, porota obdařila Kathleen Robertsonovou obnosem 780.000 dolarů jako náhradu kody, kterou utrpěla v obchodě s nábytkem, kde si zlomila kotník zakopnutím o batole. Porotu nezviklala skutečnost, e předmětné batole patřilo alobkyni.
2. Devatenáctiletý Carl Truman z Los Angeles vyhrál 74.000 dolarů plus náhradu výloh léčení poté, co mu soused přejel ruku automobilem značky Honda v okamiku, kdy se mu snail ukrást kryt kola.
3. V Bristolu, stát Pennsylvania, Terrence Dikson poté, co vykradl dům, se ho snail opustit odchodem garáí. Tu ale nedovedl zevnitř otevřít, jako se ani nemohl vrátit do domu, jeho dveře se zaklaply. Vykradená rodina byla zrovna na dovolené a zloděj musel v garái strávit osm dní, ivit se tam nalezenou pepsikolou a obsahem vaku se suchou psí potravou. Tento záitek mu způsobil nepřiměřenou duevní trýzeň (mental anguish), a proto podal alobu a porota ho odměnila sumou půl milionu dolarů.
4. V Little Rocku, hlavním městě Arkansasu, Jerry Williams obdrel pouhých 14.500 dolarů a náhradu výloh léčení, poté co ho sousedův pes kousl do hýdí. Pes byl přivázán před domem na sousedově vlastním pozemku. Porota přiznala alobci jen nevelikou sumu, poněvad on sám psa vyprovokoval opakovanou střelbou ze vzduchovky do jeho koichu.
5. V restauraci ve Filadelfii slečna Amber Carsonová z amiského města Lancasteru v Pennsylvánii hodila v hádce po svém příteli limonádu a během půl minuty na vlhké podlaze uklouzla a poramotila si kostrč. Porota přikázala restauraci zaplatit alobkyni náhradu kody ve výi 113.500 dolarů.
6. Kara Waltonová v Claymontu, stát Delaware, úspěně zaalovala vlastníka nočního klubu poté, co se s úmyslem uetřit na vstupném pokusila dostat dovnitř záchodovým okénkem a při té příleitosti si vyrazila dva přední zuby. Porota jí přiznala náhradu ve výi 12.000 dolarů, jako i zaplacení účtu za dentální rekonstrukci.
7. Merv Grazinski v Oklahoma City zakoupil deset metrů dlouhý, motorový obytný dům značky Winnebago. Na své první cestě po dálnici si nastavil rychlost (cruise control) na 70 mil v hodině a z místa řidiče se vzdálil uvařit si álek kávy. Nebylo pak příliným překvapením, e neřízené vozidlo sjelo z dálnice a překotilo se. Řidič/neřidič Grazinski zaaloval výrobce Winnebago ta to, e v instruktání příručce opomenul varovat nabyvatele před takovým počínáním. Porota shledala nárok zcela oprávněným a alobci přiznala náhradu ve výi 1,750.000 dolarů a nový pojízdný dům k tomu. Tento idiotský verdikt přiměl provinilou firmu, aby obohatila text manuálu varováním, e vozy je za jízdy nutno řídit.
15. Bush 26. 11. 2002 - 09:27
No, kdy Bush tak Bush, můete si s ním i zazpívat14. Dlouhej, ale celkem dobrej 25. 11. 2002 - 22:45
Subject: Brilliant George W. Bush!
HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
:-)
Rubas nema kapsy...
13. co znamenají názvy aut 25. 11. 2002 - 20:27
AMC
All Makes Combined
CADILLAC
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
CHEVROLET
Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time
BUICK
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
FIAT
Failure In Automotive Technology
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
TOYOTA
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
KIA
Killed In Accident
PONTIAC
Pull Over Now, The Injectors Are Cooked
12. Omluvy po způsobené nehodě 25. 11. 2002 - 20:19
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.11. Nálepky na nárazník 25. 11. 2002 - 20:16
Tady jsou nápisy z nálepek, které se dávají na nárazník
10. Re: Uprava :-)) 04. 11. 2002 - 20:29
me se spis libily ty Geo :))9. Re: Uprava :-)) 04. 11. 2002 - 16:06
Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock
Chichi, tak to presne sedi :-))))
RRR's are saving water, they drink beer and vine :-)
8. Uprava :-)) 04. 11. 2002 - 16:06
Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX- I am impotent
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Escort - I'm a red-headed nanny
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse-I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above)
Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18- wheeler
MGB- I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a....
Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife
RRR's are saving water, they drink beer and vine :-)
7. Tagy (Re: WHAT A CAR...) 04. 11. 2002 - 14:04
Patrně nejjednoduí je narvat tam potřebný počet BR :-)Rubas nema kapsy...
6. Re: WHAT A CAR REALLY SAYS ABOUT ITS OWNER 04. 11. 2002 - 13:39
no řádkování to samozřejmě umí, jenom to chce kliknout na WYSIWYG editor... a nepsat to v čistém HTML... pak to chce tagy...5. Re: WHAT A CAR REALLY SAYS ABOUT ITS OWNER 04. 11. 2002 - 10:53
ach jo ... to to neumi radkovani?????4. Re: WHAT A CAR REALLY SAYS ABOUT ITS OWNER 04. 11. 2002 - 10:49
ono to melo bejt v radcich pod sebou, ale tohle forum si s tim nejak nerozumi ... :(((3. ? (Re: WHAT...) 03. 11. 2002 - 20:21
Zjevně takté odstavcová past...Rubas nema kapsy...
2. Re: WHAT A CAR REALLY SAYS ABOUT ITS OWNER 03. 11. 2002 - 18:22
?1. WHAT A CAR REALLY SAYS ABOUT ITS OWNER 03. 11. 2002 - 16:49
Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars Acura NSX- I am impotent Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Ford Escort - I'm a red-headed nanny Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall. Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Isuzu Impulse-I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp. Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above) Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18- wheeler MGB- I am dating a mechanic Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it means either Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a.... Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wifePodpora rozvoje (reklama)
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